A common part of the teacher application and interview process is what is known as an empathy test. It measures the ability of a candidate to put themselves in the students’ place and to see a situation from their perspective. One of the critical questions is: “Is it important for your students to like you?” A “yes” response is what the interviewer wants to see – no qualifications, like “respect.”

What the research has shown over many years, is that students are willing to work hard and cooperate with teachers they genuinely like and whom they feel genuinely like them. Once good “like” relationships are established, student success is a greater possibility.

And this same research, although conducted primarily in western institutions, shows that the ethnicity of the student does not matter. Relationships are critical factors in successful teaching and learning.

The Unique Tutoring Environment

It’s all well and good to speak to relationship-building in traditional classrooms. It is quite another to speak to it in a tutoring environment, especially online tutoring situation through video meetings. Without the physical face-to-face encounters, building relationships are tougher. Add to that the cultural barriers that may exist between a western tutor and a non-western student, and there are certainly challenges.

Overcoming Challenges to Build Relationships

Relationships can be built when a tutor realizes that the same strategies in the classroom can work in online tutoring environments too, with just a few modifications. In fact, the one-on-one nature of tutoring lends itself to building those relationships even more quickly, especially with students whose ethnicities are different from yours. Here are four strategies that will serve you well as a tutor.

1. 1.    Do Your Research

As soon as you are assigned a student from a part of the world that is foreign to you, dig into some research about the culture. You need to go into this teaching activity understanding the role of teachers in the student’s environment, the value of teachers in that society, and the types of teaching and learning that typically occur in that country. Read a bit about the history, the family structures, and socioeconomic information. It’s called “cultural competence,” and all teachers must develop it.

1. 2.    Be Willing to “Reveal” Yourself

Think about how you get to know anyone you initially meet. You reveal things about yourself – your family life, your hobbies, your interests, etc. If you take the initiative and let your student see you as a person, rather than just a teacher, the student will warm up to you. A friendly, personal relationship fosters better cooperation.

1. 3.    Demonstrate that You Care

Most teachers and tutors care about their kids; some, however, fail to show it, and a relationship never builds. To demonstrate that you care, here are a few tactics:

• Show interest in your student’s personal life by asking questions
• Attentively and actively listen to what your student says to you. Repeating their words and empathizing with their thoughts and feelings establishes a comfort level and the belief that you really care.
• Show interest in your student’s culture. Ask questions about holidays, lifestyle, hobbies, sports, etc. You have already done the research, but asking for personal approaches to these things gives you greater understanding.

1. 4.    Provide Lots of Positive Encouragement

Suppose you are providing rewarded essays help to an ESL student who struggles with English grammar and composition. That student is already feeling a bit incompetent, and the manner in which you approach both teaching and correcting errors will be critical to a good relationship. Remind the student that his difficulties with writing are not a comment on his intelligence, point out progress as it is made, and continue to reassure that skills will continue to improve with practice.

Students are in tutoring situations because they are struggling. Keep expectations high by letting them know that you are confident they can master the skills or content.

It’s really all about connections. When two people are connected, whether peers, bosses, and subordinates, or tutors and their students, human connection is important to foster learning and productivity. While it may be more challenging for a tutor, especially one who is online, relationships can often be established faster. After all, as a tutor, you are not facing a classroom full of students to connect with.